Faking an Instagram Boyfriend (Reloaded)

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Can you imagine that after a 3 year hiatus, my first blog post is about FAKING a boyfriend? I completely understand… the whole idea seems a little ridiculous, but here me out. I was inspired after reading an article by Cosmopolitan writer, Hannah Smothers who faked an Instagram boyfriend in one week.

Just one week? Challenge accepted.

The task at hand did not appear overwhelmingly difficult, as it only required several carefully crafted pictures. Using Hannah’s tips (and a few of my own), I was able to convince some friends and family members that I had a newly-acquired boyfriend.

One of the most crucial aspects of this Instagram challenge is to keep it believable! If you only post on your page once or twice a week, do not jump directly into daily posts. As for content, mix it up and add some randoms; a boyfriend should never consume your life, so don’t let him consume your Instagram (even a fake one).

Post #1 – Sports = Boys

Found my Superbowl buddy 😄 #sockbuddies #gobroncos #sb50 #superbowl

A post shared by keekz17 (@keekz17) on

The day I made this post, I was still vacillating whether or not I should actually go through with it. The Super Bowl was my deciding factor! This sporting event presented itself to be the perfect opportunity to introduce someone new to my otherwise estrogen-heavy Instagram page. Boys and sports go hand-in-hand.

I wanted my post to be subtle, yet clear; mysterious, yet convincing. After carefully examining Hannah’s first post, I decided that mine needed to make a statement – preferably one that says, “Yes, I do hangout with boys!”

Confession: I watched the Super Bowl with my mother and stuck my brother’s socks on her feet. Camera angle and placement make her similar-sized feet look larger than mine. 

In retrospect, I probably shouldn’t have started with an actual “sighting” of the boy. This post sparked some curiosity from friends which came in the form of three comments and one text. My first mistake was not properly preparing myself for the onslaught of questions I would inevitably receive. Let me make this clear – I am NOT good at dodging questions. Hannah’s blog really should have been called “How to Lie to Your Friends About a Fake Instagram Boyfriend.” For the time being my solution was to ignore, ignore, ignore.

From Instgram

 

abby

From WhatsApp

The new-found attention startled me into considering a swift retreat from my Instagram farce, but it would have been harder to explain the Super Bowl feet than to just complete the experiment. So… I continued.

Post #2 – Food: The Key to any Man’s Heart

When his Pancake game is on point. #shrovetuesday #pancakaesfordinner #minesucks

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I must have a thing for special events and holidays. My second post is a tribute to Shrove (Pancake) Tuesday! With Valentine’s Day approaching heart-shaped pancakes are in the air. I did consider going out to a restaurant and fulfilling the ‘dinner-date’ photo, but Canadian weather and empty wallet kept me inside. Franky-Fake-Boyfriend and I (who is really just me, myself and I) had a comfy evening at home while making each other myself pancakes. In true Kanieka fashion, I even found an opportunity for competition… as couples often like to do.

My pancakes sparked even more curiosity and by this time, I had to create a response since silence was no longer working.

ignore

From Snapchat

My recommended responses are:

“I’ll tell you about it later, it’s too long to text”

“It’s still too early to say”

” 😉 ”

Post #3 – Flowers are a Must

Yay for February 12! (The 14th is so overrated)

A post shared by keekz17 (@keekz17) on

One of your posts should absolutely be a bouquet of flowers. If a guy is courting you, he will buy you flowers and the Instagram world needs to know. Hannah used a bouquet from work; I did not have such luxuries, so I had to get creative with this one. Because faking a picture is tacky and buying yourself flowers is depressing, I went on a hunt for flowers through my phone’s photo archive. Surprise, surprise! Last year I received a Valentine’s bouquet and never posted a photo online. (Never thought that would come in handy one day!)

Next step: post the photo. Why post February 12th when Valentines was only two days away? Character. I was giving Franky-Fake-Boyfriend character. He isn’t predictable. Seeing as how I was going away for the weekend (as some close friends already knew), it only seemed right that my boyfriend would be thoughtful enough to surprise me with a gift before my departure on Valentine’s weekend.

Awwwww…. how sweet.  I know, I thought so too.

Post #4 – Finally, a Sighting! Sort of….

Couldn't ask for better company

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I knew this would be my last post, as my lie would not sustain more than 4-5 posts. It had to be good. It had to be what the people wanted. A sighting! By this time I needed an accomplice, so I recruited my cousin (mostly because she had unravelled my lies). She spared me from having to covertly capture a photo of a random stranger while not drawing attention to myself, and sent me a photo of one of her friend instead. Franky-Fake-Boyfriend officially had a form. This photo would serve as the perfect ending to my rouse.
Surprisingly, I did not get as much of a response as I had anticipated. If you are under the impression that people do not bother to read the comments under your photo, you are incorrect. Humans are naturally curious, and we just want to know if other people are thinking the same things we are. Hence, the comment section. So my accomplice went to work. Emojis say everything you mean to say, don’t want to say, or prefer to lie about.

emoji

With great success, I got the desired response. Friends demanded answers:

Dani

rana text

From Text Messages

Now that the experiment is over, I hope this blog has put all your suspicions to rest. He is fake.

What have I learned from this experiment? Faking a boyfriend is more work than I initially thought. It takes planning and I am certain I could find a real one with less effort (not necessarily a good one, but definitely real). So instead, my Instagram page will go back to being a tribute to single-dom.

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