Terminally Single 002: Helga (Hey, Arnold!)

How much is too much?

I am sure that we can all identify with having a school crush. In our young age, we develop a crush and hold onto it as tight as we can. But when does that crush become too much? Someone needed to have this conversation with Helga G. Pataki, a character from Hey, Arnold!  Helga displays numerous unhealthy ways of dealing with affections, and demonstrates everything you should do if you intend to stay single forever.

What Not To Do:

1) DO NOT worship your love

This may sound a little extreme, but I’m sure it happens. Children make little shrines, and let me be the first to say… it concerns parents. Children should not be collecting things like locks of hair, pieces of chewed up gum, or broken pencils that all belong to their loves. Hopefully, the extent of their shrines is contained within a closet filled with posters of One Direction and Justin Bieber. Anything more than that is worth calling a doctor for.

As a child Helga’s tiki head shrine was funny, but now as I watch her bow down to the football head garnished in feathers and Christmas lights… I’m a little concerned. If this was reality, I would expect to hear her story on Dr. Phil’s special edition of ‘My Daughter Worships Her Classmate’.

2) DO NOT displace your affections

I remember when I was young, most adults would say, “If a boy picks on you, it usually means he likes you.” I’m sure back then the statement sounded outrageous. However, now it makes some sense.

Every episode, Helga struggles to display her affections for Arnold in a healthy manner. She chooses to show acts of bullying because she’s too afraid to reveal her love. Living in fear will get you nowhere. Obviously rejection sucks, but you will not be any more single the day after confessing your love than you were the day before.  Just open your mouth and say it. But PLEASE do not say anything about the shrine in your closet. Arnold was cool, but even he would have said, “You’re one crazy chick”.

3) DO NOT focus solely on your infatuation

You will miss out on so many chances at love when you focus on just one crush. Helga’s unfaltering love for Arnold blinds her from seeing the affection that breathes right behind her every day. Brainy has a thing for Helga.

If there is anyone I feel most sorry for in this twisted love triangle, it has to be Brainy. Episode after episode Brainy takes abuse from Helga all in attempt just to be near her. You have to commend him on his persistence. Any real guy would not endure the constant abuse. Prince Charming has nothing on Brainy.

Don’t be like Helga. Don’t close everyone off while you yearn for one love. Love will come in so many different shapes and sizes. If you aren’t open to receive what love has to offer, then you can expect to stay terminally single just like Helga G. Pataki.

If you would like to see more of Helga’s strange behaviour, check out this Youtube video featuring some of her best moments.


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: Which "Hey Arnold!" Character Are You? | Fukushima
  2. Trackback: Who Said It: Helga Pataki Or A Pulitzer Prize Winner? | ViralBUZZSpot

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