Serial Daters: Single Today, Taken Tomorrow

I realize that relationships are complex social interactions and can sometimes be better explained using an analogy. My blurb for today is on Serial Dating, so take a seat.

The grass is not always greener on the other side. Sometimes, the other side has weeds setting up real estate, with thorns growing its own thorns, and junk scattered around like confetti after New Years.

So… why would someone climb over the fence, and into the backyard to join the junk and the weeds? You’re right, no normal person would. But this is no different than someone who hops in and out of potentially bad relationships just to avoid being alone. This is what I call a serial dater. What’s so bad about being single? Do you contract some type of social disease if you stay single for too long? If that’s the case, I should be quarantined by now. Being single is like having the chickenpox more than once a lifetime. It is a necessary experience that shouldn’t be avoided. Like chickenpox, being single means that you will:

  • Spend more time alone
  • Appear slightly less desirable than before
  • Think constantly about what you could be doing instead
  • Focus on yourself

I had a friend who used to change her boyfriend as often as she changed her hair colour (which was every summer). One year she would have red streaks with an Italian on her arm; then the next year she would have black hair with a gym junkie by her side. By that point, I gave up on remembering any of their names. I always wanted to know if she was afraid of being single. She couldn’t possibly fall for so many guys so often. And where did she find them all? Maybe she stored men under her bed for backup.

Love shouldn’t require a backup plan.

“Just in case things don’t work out with Tommy, I can start dating Michael.”          OR

“Now that John and I are over, I finally have a chance to test things out with Brian.”

You may think these sound bad, but that’s exactly how the rest of your single friends see it. Would it kill you to throw us one guy?? Don’t be greedy.

Take the time to figure out who you really like, why you really like them, and if they’re really worth dating. Unfortunately, I have no tips on deciphering who is worth dating, so I encourage you to check out Signature Blair’s blog Which One is the Right One?. Blair mentions some men from her life, which covers the typical range of guys we often pursue.

However, there are some serial daters that need to take a break completely. I insist you try the new and highly controversial act of dating yourself! Sounds crazy… but is it really?

Why spend money for two at the movies?  …Treat yourself!

You will have no one to argue with about the movie, no one to buy a ticket for, and no one to hog the popcorn. It’s just you, yourself and the hunky on-screen hero.  Are you afraid it will make you look like a loser? I won’t lie… it might. But you never know who might go to the movies to see the big action blockbuster of the summer and sit right beside you (…your future husband). So make sure you look good!

The best time to find out what you want in a man is when you are alone. Embrace the solitude. Join your fellow sisters in singlehood! ….I know, that sounded lame to me too.

I realize not everyone will agree with me. Some believe that there is nothing wrong with seeing a high frequency of men. If you agree, then this blog is definately for you Short Term Relationships

Do you agree with me? Do you disagree? I want to hear from you!

CLICK HERE to vote on my poll.

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. getsuperduperhigh
    Jun 05, 2012 @ 00:53:34

    i love love love this post and i agree with it one hundred percent! i love the title and the picture you start off with, it put a smile on my face before i even started reading, i love how you have some bolded points because it keeps me engaged and reading since i want to get to the bolded words and see what it says. I also really like how you refereed another post from yours for more advice. The only thing i would do if i was you is maybe skip lines between quotations or dialogue just to make it a tiny bit more scannable but your post is super scannable already. I loved reading it. I can so relate to this comment because I have a friend who is a ‘Serial Dater’ and i feel like dating any guy who you ‘mildly’ like takes away from the magic of relationships. You shouldn’t date someone just because their there and you don’t want to be alone, you should date someone because they have qualities you love, and they make you guity, nervous and really happy.

    I think relationships are special and you should date someone if you know its going to last. Being single can be lonely sometimes but i would rather be single than be with someone who i am not fully into.

    Reply

  2. Trackback: Terminally Single 004: Taylor Swift | Flying Solo: A Singles Blog

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